Chapter 16 Drunkard world: Comedy Lesson part 1

The comedy section is often neglected.Would you write a similar comedy?
Let's see how people react:
100%  I'm just like a bag of hay or cement.
90%.   I see a mist
80%.   I see a white colour which to me is
            black to me.
70%.   I'm trying to balance my feet
60%.   I don't remember you.I do
            remember your head
50%.   I can't read.Read it to me.I
            read in reverse and to me
            read in reverse.Pay to me is
            yap.Big to me is GiB to gibberish
40%.   I can't stand upright.My drinks went
            to my knee cap to dislocate me so
            that I should be with my friends.
30%.   makes me talk what I like because I
            got new energy and my mouth
            screws are loose.
20%.   makes me impatient.
            Why things don't happen as I saw
            them.
10%.   makes me remind you about your
            past mistakes.
5%.     I'm very dangerous.I have extra 5%
            all over the body.
0%.     For now I'm still good.Beware I'm
            "banking" all what you are doing to
            me,you will just ONE day ONE day
            ONE day you will get dividends
            which you won't like them.