What to bring along when you visit.

1.In Midrand you must bring along 250 liters of water depending on the length of your visit. 

1L= R16.25 ($1.00) just think he when you are flushing the toilet The more you go to the toilet the more you drain the owners of that house.

2.Ekurhuleni.It is advisable to use a van and bring 

along the pebbles to patch the potholes.

3.Northwest.Bring 500kg  of sand   ask the road had been eroded.

4.Midvaal.Bring along 100L of water and the car battery as the electricity  may breakdown at anytime.

5.Same applies with Soweto  their electric transformers are  not reliable, bring along the big torch the  two plate gas stove.

6.At Hammanskraal,you must bring a gift to show your love.There are no jobs.The gift of R3000 for a month  can make  the people you visited happy.

7.In KaMhlanga don't forget to bring  a red colddrink and the white bread.

8.Bring enough  60L  of water when you visit CapeTown  so that you can give more help to  the

fire extinguishers.

9.When you visit the Eastern Cape mix English and Xhosa or translate what you  from Xhosa to English 

10.When you want to win the election in Western Cape don't  speak too much English, spice  with the special Afrikaans.

11.Orange Free State

Bring the red paint so that you can be remembered.

12.KZN

Don't bring your gun.Bring or buy an assegai so that you can be taken  as one of the residents.

13.limpopo

Since it's a big province,you must have enough

gasoline and there are speed bumpers.The hospitals are very far.

14.Mpumalanga

When you are an outsider,you must have always 

ice-water otherwise you will land to the hospital

Places where wearing  a suit  or 2 piece can be a problem because you will be associated with a

-Bluecollar crime 

-You have come to undermine that particular community.

-Moreover you are taken as an illegal Tenderpreneur 

-You have came for voters

These are the Areas:

-Stellenborsch.

-George.           Mbombela Nkangala 

-Mdantsane.    Bushbuckridge. Giyana

-KwaBhaca.     Thohoyandou 

-Mafikeng.        Rustenburg 

-Kathu.              Tzaneen

-Mbombela.      Bloemfontein 

What about in 
UK.You must stress  the English syllables.

When you visit Africa,you must have got potato in your mouth.

When you visit  South America cut your speech 

and emphasize the first letter like."Me.Sees.Good.

Beautiful.People.Me.have.Good.internet.business.

When you go to USA,bring along a cat  or immediately when you land,find the nearest pet Shop and buy the cat especially the Black or Golden Brown then you will be safe from any kind of harrassment.

Bring natural herbs  when you visit Canada.

Israel: Wearing the Hamas clothes is dangerous because you can be shot likewise wearing the IDF colours in Gaza is very dangerous.